Author Archives: christelle potgieter

Yesterday evening I was extremely negative about being in Namibia. Something triggered me in the past before I went to South Africa. I was misdiagnosed and lost everything at Naankuse Kanaan. Since that I have been dwelling in the past allot and living with my mother has not been easy. It triggered a whole lot of past experiences. I saw Namibia in the same light as before going to South Africa. I pulled two Oracle cards and it has really helped me allot. I did allot of thinking and everything makes sense. Also I’m just trying to see things in a new Perspective while I’m still living in Namibia. I won’t let the past make me see Namibia in a negative light like I used too. I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I will try my best. Common ground is definitely with my mother. We just don’t understand each other. I’m going through a hard time and I guess sometimes she just doesn’t understand it. It also her always seeing me fall and doesn’t understand it. That’s why I’m not working anymore. I’m trying to start my own business rather. I take it day by day.

So I have been stuck in house for two months now. It can make you completely negative. But I have learned allot on this journey. 1st it was my anger. I had severe anger when I’m told that I’m lying or if I got offended. I learned to control that,also remaining calm. I have learned today that even if I get mad about going to the clinic getting medicine that my mother so desperately wants, I will just do it to give her peace of mind. I wanted to drink today because I’m feeling kind of down. I have decided not too as it will upset my mother. You see it’s not about me anymore and how I feel it’s about the other person as well. This journey has told me allot about myself. And I’m very proud of the person that I’m becoming. When I tend to feel extremely low I just do a Tarot card reading to understand where this feelings come from and to give me some guidance. It really helps me allot and as a Lightworker I would love to help other people aswell on their quest to their spiritual journey and to discover their true authentic self.

I started doing Tarot after watching YouTube videos. It really intrigued me. So I decided to purchase a few Decks. The White Raider, The Dreams of Gaia and an Oracle Deck. I was fascinated by The White Raider Tarot. It really resonated with me. And I immediately felt that I could help people in their life’s. If you feel stuck, uncertain or need some guidance. Psychologist are way to expensive for that. Also it can give one comfort. I feel joy when helping people. The last few days there were so much negativity around me, that I couldn’t practice reading Tarotcards. Yesterday I pulled the strength together to pull a few cards to give me some guidance. And it was the best decision I made in my entire life. It gave me a deep personal message that is …. Teamwork!!! I tried for years doing everything on my own and I failed. My goal is now to build a strong team!

Good evening 🌆. Tonight I wanted to watch some Netflix as Im soo bored. But instead I scrolled down on my fb. I’m not really a big fan of watching television only when I’m trying to switch off my mind or at least try. I’d much prefer reading a book or chatting with friends on WhatsApp. I also don’t know if it’s about the generation. Watching TV is extremely boring for me. Sumtimes I feel like watching TV just so that the time can past. How do you folks feel about watching TV. What are your reasons. Feel free to comment

below. I’ve downloaded a couple of criminology books on the web. But don’t seem to find them interesting enough. Tried downloading books about Depression but it failed. Maybe I’ll try again later tonight. I also downloaded the app Wink just to make new friends…any good apps you folks know about? It’s better than watching the telly. For me that is.

Good morning from Namibia. I’m looking for a change from my weight to my hair colour. Also my surroundings. I was misdiagnosed that’s the reason why I live with my mother. It’s really not cool anymore. We live in a remote area. I’m not in a town and I’m far away from my friends. It’s Depressing. I also struggle with depression. Because my whole life changed after being misdiagnosed. I just feel it’s time to get back my independence. Also being in a toxic working environment has made me more depressed. I still have my job as an exotic dancer but I’m too depressed and above all I’m not really taking care of myself as I should be. The good news is that living with my mother has given me some time to think about what I really want who I am.

Throughout my struggle I have written some of my family members off. I really tried to be understanding and open minded before writing her finally off. Turns out she is just making me more negative. I believe that the weight loss part will be hard. Change is hard. Also I’m excited as to what the social worker will say on her next visit. As I told her what happened at Naankuse. I’m really looking forward to at least get compensation.

Good morning. First of all I am single I don’t have any children.Never been married. I am currently thinking about carers goals. Most of my friends are in relationships and have children. I’m also looking to make more friends people who are creative in life and energetic also that don’t have children. I just think we would have more in common. It’s actually kind of hard in Namibia. They are still old school. I’d also like to date a guy that don’t want any children and doesn’t have any children. Most of they day I am bored. I live with my mother because I have been misdiagnosed. Not because I don’t have no motivation in life. In my previous blogs I wrote about it. It was a heavy setback. I lost everything because of this. Filed me bankruptcy. But I’m not giving up. Maybe there is a chance to get financial compensation out of this. Then I can start over. That’s my no 1 goal for now. Also I know more of what I want in life. Dye my hair metallic pink the first time something very different. Get a nose piercing. Get more tattoos to cover stuff. In my twenties I just wasted allot of money on partying. So in my 30s I’ll invest the money in me. Change my identity to my authentic true self. Maybe do a course in something. I’m also into Tarot cards. Get me a pack of those. You know just chill and work on becoming my true authentic self

My relationships with my parents..well they made me always feel like I’m the bad guy..they also have their mistakes. I remember when I used to be an exotic dancer at Mavericks Cape Town. This one girl told me..well fuck them you are here now…..well back then I thought that was wrong. Today I agree with her..

Good morning. Today I feel a bit more positive then usual. I feel good today. I would love for my career to be a writer. Yesterday evening I drank Richelieu, don’t know if that helped a bit lol making me feel better today. Got rid of the blues ….I feel extremely optimistic.

I think it’s also cause I took a break from the outside world you know to be alone and figure out what I want in life. The best thing this far it’s to not being in a toxic working environment.

I would like to work in a fast paced industry.My favorite job this far was in the courier business. I did importing. Will I go back..it depends if they ask me..I forgot slightly how it works…I also miss Madisa that was a real cool place and people to work with..will I go back..no. Working for English speaking people is more relaxed then working for Afrikaans speaking people, English speaking people tend me be a bit more open minded. I am Afrikaans it almost the same as to Dutch.

I just want to feel free. Naankuse took that from me.

Good morning. I was doing research if it’s a good idea to blog everyday sum say good sum say bad. I’ll just try to post everyday. Let me know what you guys think about it and what’s your experience on this. So Today I’m writing about what is a comfort zone. In my experience it’s being neutral. Like being in a routine. For some it can be feeling safe and don’t want to try something new….I’m more of a risk taker…but given that I haven been in 3 toxic working environments has stopped me from looking for work. Therefore I’m trying something new such as blogging. I’m just really glad I am able to live with my mother..I know to some it may sound lame…but for me it feels like the best choice for now…am I in my comfort zone? You bet lol…I have my own routine…for days I can stay in my pajamas lol…go without make up…do I want to live like this ..not really…the only thing I’m looking forward to is blogging….For 2-3 years I have lived outside my comfort zone. Which was the best times of my life….from being an exotic dancer to going into the Tourism Industry to experience overseas for the first time…

Now to some that are new to my blog might wonder what happened well…this one job I had…send me to a Dr because I refused to resign…then misdiagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia…that made me sooo depressed.. Luckily I don’t have it…I guess I should have never applied for that job as it was in my comfort zone…should have tried something new…it’s too late now lol..being misdiagnosed learned me that…I also learned that if my mother believed this then she doesn’t know me really well. So it has opened up my eyes…being in a comfort zone can be draining you don’t get to live and don’t learn anything new…I thought working on different lodges throughout Namibia would be cool as you get to travel and see new places… guess I was wrong…being misdiagnosed was the worst experience in my life…

Good evening folks. As in my previous blogs some may know I am currently depressed. So I’m asking different people different opinions and advice. I wonder if being depressed makes it difficult to make a choice. What’s your thoughts or opinion on this. Does one make realistic choices. I was at that point where I just don’t care anymore..but an opinion stopped me..I was just about to give up. Therefore I encourage people who are depressed to talk to people closest to you. You may feel like your whole world has stopped. Dead or empty inside. Well reaching out to people you trust may help you or change your perspective in life. You can’t go through Depression alone…if people are saying they don’t want to be around you because you are too negative. Well then they are not your people..try making new friends online..find a support group on Facebook…. You don’t have to feel like you are alone in this. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of…You can be depressed and not negative as well..like me….I learned that the hard way..cause in the outside world no one cares…so I learned to smile even tho I’m dying inside

Good morning. I am struggling to make a choice as to what career should I choose. I am energetic, extroverted, passionate about writing. I have been in the Tourism Industry for 5 years. It’s not for me anymore. Doing bookings,checking rooms and hosting. Been there done that. I have also been an exotic dancer. I do miss it. Don’t know if I’m going back. The best part of the job was meeting open minded and fun people. That was really cool. Also you are your own boss. I’m also depressed so I don’t think being a Dancer would be a good idea. They say if one door closes…the other one opens. Well that phrase helps me get through the day. One hand I like being alone and sometimes not..guess it’s just being depro…writing has helped me allot. My friend suggested that I should try blogging. My veiws are ok…I’m happy with it. It’s a start. I hope to let my Audience grow and that they find inspiration in life. So helping me cope is my blog and being away from a negative working environment. To get back to being depressed..it’s kinda funny that I don’t have any low self esteem…or o confidence…I guess I just have to be thankful lol. Also what do you do when you feel depressed..Do you talk to a friend about it…is it a new start to find out what you really want in life..I’m at this point. now…I will let you folks know if I finally figured that out.